Has someone ever asked you a question and you gave them the answer that they wanted to hear? Maybe it was fear, apprehension or just not wanting to tell them how you really felt. Either way, you lied.
Calling it a lie is pretty harsh. I know.
But that’s exactly what it is – the opposite of the truth. Whether you were sparing them some ill feelings, or protecting yourself from scrutiny, it’s still the same. We all tell lies, especially about our feelings.
However, this isn’t a post to sink you into guilt about that person you don’t like but you’re leading on because you don’t want to be rude. Nope, instead I’m here to show you how three simple concepts can help you to start carving out the life you want, and why you need to stop lying about your feelings.
- You have to know what you want and stand up for it. Knowing what you want is rarely the problem. The issue is that it’s pretty easy to sweep your feelings under a mat and go along with what every else is doing or saying. All too often we settle for the stinging mediocrity that comes from not acting on what we really feel.
- You have to be unafraid to make the big choices – the ones that can keep you up and night and give you that little quivering feeling in the pit of your stomach. The choices that launch you into uncertainty. Choices like what career to pursue and who to date.
- You have to have faith. There’s something really scary about the broad spectrum of the future that puts us on edge. However, if you have faith that things will indeed work out, regardless of whatever is happening right now – it quells a lot of your fears about the future. If you feel guided and trust in the outworking in your life, you’ll be fine.
So, how does this all create a formula for success?
Let me break it down: Lying about your feelings puts you farther from your goal – you’re more likely to go along with people than stick out.
You need to be able to think for yourself and stand up for yourself if you want to move upwards. You have to be willing to make critical choices, with the faith that believing in yourself and your goals will get you to where you want to be in life.
But, does doing all of that eliminate the fear you’ll feel sometimes? No. It doesn’t. However, whenever I find myself gripped by fear or apprehension about pursuing my dreams – draw on this quote by Steve Jobs:
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”
I mean, it’s a pretty simple concept – success. But, it’s making the concept a reality where we’ll always have an issue.
If it was simple, everyone would do it.